We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
