i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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