Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
