I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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