can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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