Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Pants are for mortals
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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