You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
