We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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