is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
