no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
