Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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