you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
