I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
