Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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