I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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