Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
