my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
