Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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