She just used a chaser for red wine.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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