Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
