who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
