I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
