I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
