just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
