just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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