I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
