Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
