Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
