I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
