i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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