i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
