just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
