Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
