I wish my penis had an off switch
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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