That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
