just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i out mim tonsoeep
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