Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize