id be glad to
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
