I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
