Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
