Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
