Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize