she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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