Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize