she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
