If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
