You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize