she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
