No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
3pm strippers are depressing
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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