Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
