what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize