We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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