I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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