Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My dick has a subreddit
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
