Say something about gay babies.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
