you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
