Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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