So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
