Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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