She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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