can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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