He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
