I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
