So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
