When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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